My account of July 22, 2003

I guess you could say that the day started out like any other day. We were going on a convoy. A mission to trade some soldiers out from a boat mission and to restock some supplies. We did the normal things that any soldier would do before a convoy; briefing, packing, smoking, etc. Except this day felt different to me. See, I should really start the night before...

As I was cleaning my weapon, a 9mm, and talking to my then dear friend and new "boyfriend" Rob(who is now my husband) I asked him if he had ever wondered what it was like to be shot at. It was such a surreal question. I could almost feel the bullet coming at me as I inspected it before loading it into the clip. The thought passed and I finished my cleaning and packing. I still couldn't shake that weird feeling that something wasn't quite right.

The next day, after our convoy brief, we loaded up and headed out. I was riding in the back of a HMMWV(Humvee) with a few other soldiers. Jon was driving the cargo hemmit right behind me. As we exited the gate, I turned back to smile and wave at my friend behind me. Little did I know that was the last exchange I would have with him on that level.

The convoy was going just fine for a while. We were all looking out, making sure nothing looked out of place, when all of a sudden we noticed an orange(I can't quite remember the exact color, so I could be wrong here) Iraqi truck. It was trying to separate our convoy!

I had just lit a cigarette when I first heard, then felt the explosion behind me. I knew right away what had happened. An IED had exploded. I turned to see what exactly was wrong and saw that Jon's truck was coasting to the side of the road. We started to receive small arms fire from the hills next to the road. It was a perfect setup for an abush. We started firing back and soon we all got up to the "safety zone." I'm a little blurry on what exactly happened next as things seemed to be moving at an unnatural pace.

The next thing I knew our 1SGTs vehicle pulled up and we unloaded Brandon into my vehicle. Being the medic I started to asses his injuries and determined that he needed a tourniquet and an IV. Before we could really do much of anything on him the 1SGT was back and yelling at me to get in his vehicle. I didn't know what to expect, I just knew it was bad.

My first thought upon seeing Jon, was "Oh my God! My friend!" I got to work immediately and found he had no pulse and a brain injury that I could do nothing about. Still, he was my friend and I had to try. I performed CPR and tried to bring him back. He let his last breath of air out right there with his head in my hands. "Top"(that's what we called our 1SGT) yelled back "Is he gone?" I couldn't answer. How could I pronounce my friend dead? Top had to ask again and this time I had to answer. "Yes, there's nothing I can do." came out of my mouth.

Soon after we stopped so I could get back in with Brandon and help him. While I had been with Jon, a "combat lifesaver"(they are trained by medics to assist the medics in the field) had been trying to start an IV. I immediately got the tourniquet started as he was loosing a lot of blood. I knew he was going to loose his arm, but that was the last of my worries at the moment. I had to keep him alive.

We talked and talked after he was as stable as we could get him. I talked and prayed with him to keep him awake. We talked about how much he loved his girlfriend and about how God was going to bless him with a long and wonderful life. At one point we heard a helicopter and thought for sure it was the med evac. We found out later that it was a CNN chopper coming to film footage of the burning truck! Are you kidding me? The families haven't even been notified!

We finaly arried at our destination and took both Jon and Brandon to the medics there. My job
was done. I sat on the hood of the HMMWV for a long time, by myself. Dokken came and just sat next to me. I am forever greatful for him. That's exactly what I needed that day. Just a quiet shoulder to sit next to me as I quietly processed what had just happened.

After a while we suited up and headed back to our original camp. That was one nerve wracking drive. I traded out my 9mm for a 203, much safer for me.

I remember nothing else upon arriving other than seeing my dear sweet Rob and just holding onto him for dear life. I was so scared and scarred, I had no idea what to do.

The next few days were a blur. We put Jon's body on a plane and sent him back to be buried. Rob and I had some late nights trying to keep my panic attacks at bay. In the end I clung to my Bible.

I'm baaaaaaaacccckkkk!

LOL. No, I haven't abandoned my blog. We moved! We are now back in the Dakotas! South Dakota to be exact! I'm so happy to be back here.

Lots has happened in the past two months. My boys, lightening and thunder both had birthdays! I can't believe they are growing so fast. We are going to start homeschool this year! I'm so excited.

The story about the moving company is a whole post within itself. I may delve further into that at a later date. For now I need to get to bed. I have an early morning tomorow.

Goodnight for now. I'll be back tomorow to update you a bit better.

Great giveaway!!!

http://lyismama.blogspot.com/2009/05/giveaway-day.html

Such cute stuff!!! The giveaway is for some really cute personalized bean bags.

Keeping busy

I keep waiting for things to calm down around here, but they just aren't. It seems like we have one thing after another lately. I guess that's what happens as kids get older though. Lightening goes to preschool twice a week, I have a couple comitments a month, Rob's work stuff and then there's the daily tasks that require running around town. LOL. Such is life though.

I'm totaly loving it right now. The kids can get pretty crazy, but it's so fun. Sonshine is a climbing fool. Ever since he figured out how to crawl(around 7 months or so) he's been climbing things. I take him off the dining room table at least 5 times a day!! I don't know what I'm going to do with this kid. He's already trying to figure out how to get up to the top bunk. I think he's going to give me grey hair before I turn 30. LOL.

I also finished Rob's winter hat for next year. It's the first hat I've ever knit!! I'm so excited. I almost woke him up last night to try it on. LOL. I didn't. I was a good girl and waited until this morning, then I made him try it. He loves it!! I'm so happy. I have now started on Thunder's hat for next year.

Well, I better get back to knitting and stop blogging for now. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Peace!

Wow!

My youngest recently turned ONE! Amazing!

I was thinking tonight at what I would've thought of myself 6 years ago, before a baby was even in my thoughts. I think if someone would've told me that I'd be nursing a 2.5 year old and a 12 month old, I would've laughed at them. I love that I'm doing it now though. I'm so blessed to be able to give both of them this wonderful gift.

I'm just rambeling anyway. Just thought I'd share.

Who cares?

All this news coverage about the octuplets, thier mom, the doctor. Come on. Who cares anymore. It was unethical of the doc to put that many embryos in at once, it was unmoral of the mother to even attempt another pregnancy given her current situation. Pretty simple.

I'm all for large families. I want to have one myself. However, if I were a single mom with NO job, I'd stop at what I have until I was in a better financial situation. I'm not saying one needs to have a surplus of money. I'm just saying that a job would help.

This leads me to another thought on this. I've heard so many people wonder how she gets enough one on one time with all of them. Plain and simple, she doesn't, according to "normal" standards anyway. That's not a bad thing though. We can all create one on one time with our children thoughout the day. We don't have to go somewhere special. (though that can be fun and isn't a bad thing) I can have a moment with my two year old when my other boys are playing in the same room. We can sit and read a book, or just snuggle for a moment. It's all in how you do it. Do you give them eye contact? Do you stop what YOU are doing and focus on them? I'd venture to say that there are many only children who don't get enough attention from their parents. Think about it.


Anyway, even though I don't agree with what this octomom(as she's being called) did, I still think she deserves our prayers. I especially believe that those babies deserve our prayers as they are here, on this earth, and deserve a fair shot.

Change

Change. Change is good. Change is life. We all need change sometimes. It's not the change that I really want to talk about though. It's others accepting our change. We are all on a path in this life. It's not for us to judge others for where they are at in their life. When we change for the better and someone still paints us with the same brush from before. It's defeating to feel this way. One thinks, why go on? Why not just stay the same? Well, I believe that even if nobody else sees it, God does. So it's totaly worth it.

One word.........

Courtesy of my friend Lisa. Thanks Lisa!

Yourself: compassionate
Your partner: awesome
Your hair: messy
Your Mother: crazy
Your Father: strong
Your Favorite Item: camera
Your dream last night: labor
Your Favorite Drink: mocha
Your Dream Car: VW van
Your Dream Home: log
The Room You Are In: TV
Your Ex: ass
Your fear: nothing
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? happy
Who you hung out with last night: Rob
What You're Not: stupid
Muffins: whatever
One of Your Wish List Items: phone
Time: quick
The Last Thing You Did: breastfeed
What You Are Wearing: jeans
Your favorite weather: sun
Your Favorite Book: Bible
Last thing you ate: chocolate
Your Life: lovely
Your mood: stressed
Your Best Friends: great
What are you thinking about right now: kids
Your car: Chevy
What are you doing at the moment: breastfeeding
Your summer: hot
Relationship status: married
What is on your TV: nothing
What is the weather like: icy
When is the last time you laughed: today