Monday, February 18, 2013

40 Days to a Stronger Marriage - Day 5

Sorry for the late start today. Life happened. I had to run to a few places before I lost the nerve to go out in this super cold wind. Funny how being born a Dakota girl, I still hate the cold.

On Friday, I made my list of things I love and appreciate about my husband. As I was thinking about it, I recalled this passage from Matthew;

"Now if you don't hold people's mistakes against them, your Father in the heavenly places won't hold your mistakes against you. But if you do hold people's mistakes against them, then your Father will hold your mistakes against you." ~Matthew 6:14-15 (The Source New Testament)

I take this one pretty seriously. If we hold things, like forgetting to put up a towel, against our husband, how can we expect to be forgiven for our shortcomings? Over and over, Jesus tells us not to be like the hypocrites. The word hypocrites is translated from the Greek word, "hupokrites," which literally means an overly critical, hairsplitting, pedantic, religious(legalistic) person. This is something I do not want to become. It is so easy to pick at those we are with often. Society tells us it's okay to make fun of the "blubbering idiot of a husband." I am here to say ENOUGH! We should build our husband up, not tear them down. The work, and Satan, does enough tearing down. We don't need to add to it.

1 Corinthians 10:23-24 tells us;

     " "We are free to do anything" you say, but not everything is good for you! Yes, "we are free to do anything" but not everything builds you up. Each of you must consider other people's interests rather than your own." (The Source New Testament)

While we "can" say or do anything, because God gives us that choice, we need to think of others first. Does that towel really make a difference? Couldn't we just put it up and be done? I will go back to that old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." This does not mean we have to become doormats for our husbands. It just means we need to thing about things first. There is a time and a place to bring up grievances. I believe, in a healthy marriage, this is important. We do need to call each other out at times. As long as it is done in a respectful manner with loving correction at the heart, there is no problem.

So, how did your weekend go? Was it easy or hard for you to create your lists? Why or why not?

Onto day 5! Day 5 focuses on ourselves. This may be easy, this may be hard, but either way, it must be done.

Day 5
Identify an area that you need to improve upon and get to work. 

This may be difficult for some of us because it requires us to take an honest look at our actions, words, behaviors, etc. Take a look at how you speak to your husband. Is it respectful? Is it loving? How about how we react when things don't go as planned, does it tear down or build up? 

I encourage you to write yourselves little reminders around your house. Whether it's a verse from Scripture, or a quote from someone, or just one word. It's good to remind ourselves of what we need to be. I have little reminders all over my house in the form of Scripture. A verse here and there for me to read on a daily basis, just to remind me that I am a child of God and I need to behave as such. Nothing condemning, just uplifting Scripture.  


Erika said...

The weekend went well and my husband very much enjoyed reading over the list of loves about him :) The don't like list I wrote in tandem with the first and then was able to disregard it in order to focus more on the positives. So all in all - doing well :) I'll let you know which bible snippets I choose for around the house tomorrow....stay warm!

Anonymous said...

I found your blog via the FB group. I am very interested in this series and plan on reading all your posts on strengthening a marriage. This is something my hubby and I are working on at the moment. Thank you

Erika said...

OK - was finally able to get this day documented:
onto Day 6